In last week’s article, we talked about how we want to simplify matters and make our lives much more dramatic than necessary occasionally. We’ve got judgments, pre-conceived thoughts, interpretations of what if/what is assumed to be and so on.
As promised, we’ll discuss now what BEING Human means and what are the options we have. Remember, when I said: An educated mind simplifies and comes to a complete circle of the human experiences and becomes a HU-MAN BEING, in the most real sense.
Let’s now work on knowing how to become more educated and up the notch to be a works-in-progress enlightened human being.
You will find that many of the pointers below are related to what we say, how we act and about transforming how we think.
But before I begin discussing I also want you to know that, as careful as you may be we also cannot control how others perceive us, so we all can do is to do our very best. I, for one, am often misunderstood. People who do not know me think I’m trapped or arrogant because of how they perceive the way I behave. So, it is really about interpretation.
Now because we can’t change the minds of others, once they’ve made up their minds, we have to learn to be OK with how other people perceive you. And not allow it negatively affect you.
So here goes:
When it comes to speaking: a few of you will know this already.
Is it better for me not to say anything? This isn’t to say that we can’t say things in jest and that we have to be serious all the time. It depends on situations. And sometimes saying things in jest in certain circumstances could save yourself some embarrassment and could work to your benefit. Now, if you’re unsure, then it is best to keep quiet.
When it comes to knowing what we’ve said to you or said/written about you, often, regrettably, we listen to what we would like to hear, and this may result in misunderstanding. So to have a more positive filter, do this:
Ask yourself, am I interpreting this wrong because of how I feel about this person?
Is this person speaking in general terms and it has nothing to do with me?
Is it a relationship that I place value in? If it’s not an important one, then let it go if things are really directed to you. If that is a relationship you value, it’s always best to clarify with the person from a place of love and understanding and not in a violent confrontation, with the aim to fix the relationship.
In regards to understanding the behaviour of others, putting ourselves in their shoes helps us to have a clearer idea of why they do what they do. And perhaps we could develop some empathy for them.
If their behavior affects you, then being patient and speaking to them about it helps.
Again, the same question of how much value you put in this relationship comes to play here. If there is no value, merely let it go.
Sometimes, you are required to take immediate action to address this with other people. And sometimes, you want to take more time for yourself to mull things over.
These are some necessary steps you can take. I know it sounds as if it’s so complicated that we have to question everything. No, this is not my intent that you self-doubt or have these questions running through your mind all the time. Life has to be lived fluidly, and you use the above questions when you have an awareness of what’s going on your head. In case you have no awareness, then you’d probably be reactive to situations, and this may create a clash, and this is when you will take the time to think things through.
I can assure you that the above steps will become easier, it is like learning how to ride a bike, when you learn it and with daily exercise, it will become second nature.
There’s a lot more to how we can uncomplicate our lives, I will discuss more in the coming weeks!